1)Notice the trigger point,2) Analyze the repercussion, 3) Evaluate your thoughts & approach, 4) Identify your behavioral changes, 5) write them down, 6) Leave the place, if possible,5) Have some water, 6) Train yourself that you can only change yourself, 7) Cry if needed so that you never cry again for same reason, 8) Divert & engage technique, 9) Consult the experts for therapy.
As emotion has its main role in how we respond & react to certain situation, hence being mindful & training ourself appropriately will definitely help us to address them, not just relieving us as an individual but also keeps our relationship healthy. This article will give the insights on practical way to cope up with emotions when they are triggered & goes out of our control.
Any emotions whether it be happiness, joy, anger, sorrow etc. goes too deep, we lose control over it & it’s natural, so here are some key points which we can practice on daily basis to bring right equilibrium between mind & emotions over time as it’s not a one-day process. Couldn’t deny the fact stability comes with experience & learnings. So, let’s start:
A) Closely monitor the trigger point:
Try to identify the trigger points which could be any events, memories, uncomfortable topics, experiences or even some unlike minded people that brings up spontaneous emotional response irrespective of your current mood. Sometimes we need to face &accept them, sometimes we need to address them then & there but also sometimes we simply need to avoid & ignore them depending upon situations. Wisdom comes once we equip ourselves to analyze the situation & act appropriately to remain unaffected with what comes to us, we wisely choose to respond to keep ourselves at calm.
B) Analyze the repercussion:
As said earlier, any emotion which goes intense are vulnerable to go out of control & if it occurs more often, we end up making incorrect decisions, or may be making false promises which may result in:
- Friction in friendship or any other relationship.
- Difficulty at workplace.
- Inviting disliking from people around.
- Emotional disbalance
- Developing physical symptoms due to emotional pain.
- Relying on addictive things as coping mechanism.
C) Evaluate your approach:
We should always keep in mind, neither we can change the unexpected situations nor we can control or fix the other person. So, the first step to manage our emotion is working on ourself. Thinking wisely on how much value or importance is required to give to certain situation. We should involve only when required, sometimes silence plays better role over speech. We should convey what we feel only when the opponent is eligible enough to understand or else wisdom lies in self-talk & avoiding.
D) Identify your behavioral changes:
Changes in body language & face expression is natural when we are emotionally triggered. If the situation is exceptional then we must be expressive in what we feel. There is nothing wrong in being joyful, getting surprised, getting anxious or fearful however if it’s more often then we must pay attention. First thing we can do is to train ourselves to take other’s opinion as just their opinion which has nothing to with our reality. Also, most of the people do not tend to offend someone intentionally so the general communication should not be taken personally. And in case if we find someone is targeting to hit our behavior, in that case we should stay neutral & give ourselves some space to simply ignore, if possible, distance or limit interaction will help potentially. Observing our behavior &others not only makes us emotionally intelligent but it does potentially help us in managing emotions.
E) write them down:
Writing down what we exactly feel gives us clarity & takes us to the source which impacted our emotion. Once we identify it’s much easier to manage them. The process of putting feelings in words drastically reduces our stress & it calms our mind.
Most of the people don’t prefer to execute the writing practice & believe why putting their feelings into words is helpful. Because when we know we’re trying to pick ourself up, it usually doesn’t work — self-deception is difficult. Because managing your feelings doesn’t require us to want to feel better, it doesn’t have this problem.
The other way round can be talking to our closest one or the trusted friend is also advisable for the situation.
F) leave the place:
once we find, the situation is completely out of control & expressing our emotion is typically difficult in that case leaving the place simply means giving yourself time & space to consider, validate & respond to the situation appropriately. We can express our feelings in the way we want if we give ourselves couple of minutes to evaluate the entire process which we go through. It’s one of the wisest approaches.
G) Have some water
When we hydrate ourselves, scientifically brain gets enough of amino acid tryptophan which is required to create serotonin also called” feel good chemical”. Hence it decreases the stress & anxiety. Also, there is a saying -More reasons to keep sipping, no matter what life throws at you”. There are established documentation on relationship between hydration & stress. When body is stressed, brain releases stress hormones resulting in stressful responses.
“Every single cell in your body requires water to function properly.”
Though brain contains 75% to 85 % of water, even in decrease of 1 to 2 %, human body experience substantial difficulties in mood & wellness. Hence the importance of water in controlling emotions & stress management cannot be ignored.
H) Train yourself that you can only change yourself:
When we change ourselves, we invite to new possibilities. We grow emotionally strong & learn to manage the unexpected situation events wisely. People live in myth & their own thought that they can fix others to the level they will start behaving as per their expectation but it’s practically absurd. No communication works when there is difference in basic nature of two individuals. For example, water cannot burn the things & fire cannot play the role of water likewise if fundamentals are different, wisdom lies in working on ourselves over trying to fix others which in return will cause frustration. We can surround ourselves with likeminded people where we don’t encounter emotional trauma more often due to difference in basic nature, if it’s unavoidable situation, we can maintain & limit the connection without expecting them to behave the way we want.
H) Cry if needed so that you never cry again for same reason:
Crying works as a tool in healing mechanism as it’s healthy & natural response in regulating our emotions. It relaxes us immediately however we should not fall victim & induce the thoughts & cry. It should remain a natural response & once we are recovered, we must focus on above mentioned points in the articles & practice in our life to not invite the situation over & again & that’s how we evolve as an emotionally strong person.
I) Divert & Engage mechanism:
Keeping our presence on present not just relieve us from temporary emotional breakdown but it has huge positive impact in future as an automatic output. If emotions are intense & no amount of good thought is helping to come out, then coming out physically & involve ourself in the work which makes us feel better gives ample space to heal & think wisely. It could be going to gym, having our favorite food, meeting old friends, driving etc. Either inculcating good habits or following our interest will keep us live in present & will not allow to go in past to recall the triggered emotion to experience it over & again. Also, by engaging ourselves in present limits the scope of encountering the triggers knowingly or unknowingly except unexpected events. By practicing mindfulness, we learn to love ourselves & doesn’t allow ourselves to get pray of emotional breakdown more often.
J) Consult the experts for therapy:
Last not the least, if the self-coping mechanisms are not prevailing for prolonged days, we should consider it alarming & reach out to therapist as they allow us to open up & express ourselves without any judgments. They try to understand the root cause & assist in professional way to deal with it. The therapy includes a group of techniques, strategies, or programs that are used to address unexpected or critical situations and monitor our stress response to them.
Benefits of stress therapy include:
- Digestion improvement
- Mood upliftment
- Good sleep
- Avoiding Chronic disease
- productiveness
- Improved mental and emotional health
- Improved physical health
- Improved relationship
- Reduced pain
To conclude, there are some other habits which can be inculcated in order to become emotionally strong are listed below:
- Avoid addictions like smoking & drinking.
- Create boundaries.
- Connect with loved ones
- Organize your thoughts & stay in present
- Eat a well-balanced diet
- Do yoga if possible
- Follow a routine or keep a daily practice
- Help others and volunteer
- Manage your expectations for yourself
- Make time for hobbies
- Can speak affirmative sentence to yourself on staying positive
- Prioritize the 15 mints of morning time for yourself in self-care routine.
People also ask! FAQs
Why do I have difficulty in controlling emotions?
Emotions are complex & natural. Well, not necessarily emotions need to be controlled always rather it needs to be managed effectively by practicing above outlined techniques. There may be various reasons like bad relationship, challenging situation, bad memories, events, toxic environments etc. that makes it difficult to stay emotionally stable however managing emotions can be learnt as an skill to overcome. Also always remember “Nothing is permanent, this shall pass too”.
Why do I always have emotional break-downs?
Frequent emotional outbursts signify you’re dealing with underlaying causes or unresolved issues. Accumulated stress, past traumas, certain mental health conditions, or hormonal imbalances might be contributors. If your emotions are impacting your day-to-day life, consider seeking therapist or professional to influence & improve your conditions.
Why am I so aggressive in my response even on small things?
Some people naturally have heightened emotional responses. Past traumas, ingrained habits from childhood, or even genetic predispositions can be the reason or it might be the brain’s way of alerting you to something that, beneath the surface, holds more significance than it appears. Practicing mindfulness can give clarity on root cause & solution.
Why do I have mood swings more often?
Everyone has their unique emotional rhythm. However, frequent mood swings or breakdowns can sometimes indicate underlying issues. Factors like stress, hormonal imbalances, mental health conditions etc. Over work pressure or extra leisure also plays role in creating emotional disbalance. It’s very important to keep a good sync between mind & body to live a more balanced life. Good sync here implies to work should be given to mind & body equally to get tired to function it properly. Physical activity is very crucial in controlling mood swings however if the situation is beyond control then seeking help from professional will help potentially.